The guilt for being better

I spent the whole night staring at nothing outside the open window. But wait. I was supposed to be celebrating. I could hear the blare of loud music in the living room. Everyone was waiting for me. And here I was, sitting in the corner of a locked up, pitch-dark room. I wanted to go. But my mind wouldn't permit me to. Yes. The mind. It's funny how the heart wasn't responsible at that time. It's because I remembered. I knew that look on her face.

We'd been best friends since we joined college and after that, continued to be the best colleagues. Until...

"Hey, I heard you just got promoted. You must've worked hard. I wish I could be like you." he patted me on the shoulder as i laughed nervously.

And that's when i turned around to see the fallen look on her face. She smiled at me when our gazes met and walked away. I knew her long enough to detect the fakeness in her smile. I didn't know whether to talk to her about this. I knew she would think i was being boastful. And if i didn't, she'd stay that way. So I decided to go with the flow. And that was where it took me: to a room in a house where everyone I knew was except for my only best friend...and that is why, I hated being better than her. I didn't want to be and it wasn't my fault. I had the choice of kicking  her out of my life but then again, I was too selfless to do that.

For the first time, I felt guilty for being better...