Faking the happiness

I breathed deeply and slowly, counting to ten.

You are one brave girl. Don’t ruin her day please. You don’t want to grab unwanted attention, now do you?

I plastered a fake smile to my face and rung the bell. It was already nine. I was late. But at least I’d managed to cry my anger out. Don’t know what I was angry at though. I wasn’t jealous for sure. But I had been boiling from the inside since the day she told me. She asked me if I was okay once. She played her part. And I said I was. What else could I have said?

Oh, I’m sorry but I’m not happy at all because you just got a job while you were already a lousy, millionaire and I’m hard working who deserved the job more than you and my poor parents forced me to move out and I'm broke so no. I’m not happy at all because I’m too selfish to do that. I'm sorry.

I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. So as she entered. I hugged her real tight and while she did I blinked my eyes a thousand times to keep the hanging tears from falling. I just hope she didn’t hear me sniffing. I wanted to control myself but that was the only thing that seemed out of control. That and my drowning luck.

So I did the best I could.

“Hey. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you. And you did deserve one now didn’t you?” I managed to say in my most squeaky I’m-so-excited voice as she led me to the party in the living room.

I knew I was broken but I had to fix myself for the sake of her best moments. Even if temporarily.

And what was even more heart breaking...she didn't look at me closely enough...