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Saturday 8 July 2017

Staying unanswered: letter from the curious one

Hello the someone who's reading this,

Here's my story,

"I'm sorry", she closed the file gently, "But it's just not good enough."

This was the 30th time I was witnessing these very words being hurled at me.

"But why is this 'not good enough'? I mean, there must be something which disappoints you. And I promise I'll take care of it." I watched her unchanged blank expression "Please. Don't do this to me. I came here with a lot of hope." I pleaded.

"I'm sorry. But this is a publishing house. Not a counsellor's office. Now if you may," she gestured towards the door, "because I have more much important things to do."

I heaved myself and turned towards the door. Each footstep felt like a mile away from my dreams. It appeared as if I had come too far now. Too far to look back and find a way to where I began. It was saddening.

That night, I cried as I went through each and every word of each and every page. Funny isn't it? The fact that you read comedy and then you cry?

"You don't waste a syllable, honey. This might lead you somewhere."

I asked my teacher what she meant that very day. But she never told me. I remember how she replied, again, leaving behind clues I couldn't quite follow. 

"Just do what you like." 

I thought I had the desired reply, but the night of the 30th rejection, I finally had second thoughts. Maybe I was too silly to understand. Maybe she meant something else. 

I had so much to ask. To my teacher. To the publishing houses. To a lot of people. But the pile of questions kept increasing until I could bear no more. And these are the last words you will ever read from me.

Goodbye everyone.
Love,
Bella

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